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Why There Is No Such Thing As ‘Curing’ Homosexuality

This is actually Part II of the previous article, “Should Christians Be In The Business of Curing Gays?

Is someone SICK? Really?

Is someone SICK? Really?

We’ve been talking about the notion of ‘curing’ homosexual behavior within the context of the closing of Exodus International.  Some say that gays can’t be cured.  Some say they can be.  Some say that God will cure them.  However,   I firmly reject entire the notion of ‘cure‘. Those who practice homosexuality are not sick. Nor are they born that way. People decide to engage in immoral sex. Thus, a ‘cure’ makes no sense.  Also, a church whose entire function should be so narrowly focused can’t possibly be a church. And it very well could lead to mental torture on people.  Not Christ’s goal.

If homosexuals are ‘sick’, then so are all people and our sickness has a name:  ‘SIN‘.

However,  I am sure that people are 100% capable of laying down their entire lives for Christ.  Not just the teeny, tiny part called ‘sex’. Jesus wants our whole life–  yes! as in,  the entire enchilada! So how can anyone complain about giving up just one small part for his sake? People focus so hard on sex- as if it is necessary for life or for happiness. Why? Sex brings momentary pleasure and then the pleasure dissipates into thin air. What remains, if one is engaged in moral sex, is friendship, acceptance, love and laughter.  Those are what we truly crave. And those are delivered by Jesus in such a superior and overwhelming way that mere sex becomes a laughable- no, a pitiable substitution.

To live with a thriving and whole relationship with Jesus is to leave the worldly things behind- easily. Jesus delivers such rapturous joy and completion that no sacrifice is too much to give!  The great irony of God is that one must first lay down their lives- then they feel the truth of my statement.  And until you do give up your whole life, my statement sounds ludicrous.  God didn’t make faith easy or obvious!  He wants us to trust him and to trust Jesus first.  Faith first, reward second.  But Jesus did tell the truth when he said,

“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.”  Matt 16:25

He meant it.   Having lived the reality of this in my own life, I can easily say that if I had to give up sex in order to be right with God, I would do it in a heartbeat.  Nothing compares to the life I have with Jesus.  Nothing.

When you personally know and love Jesus, you have all that you need. Period.

Thus, a person who craves this relationship with God, through his gracious Son, Jesus Christ, can and will lay down their sex lives, at the very minimum,  in order to have it. Some lay down their literal lives for it.

Makes the pagan wonder, I’m sure.  But entirely worth it.

The reality is this: the more you lay down your selfish desires and live to fulfill Christ’s mission for us, the less and less you crave things of the flesh. Our focus needs to be on all that lovely and good and wholesome and worthy in this life. And guess what? GOD is the source for all of that! So, with our minds and actions on God, we lack for nothing. We crave nothing. We leave our sinful, limited, animalistic earthly lives behind and instead receive the divine existence that is our true destiny.

So, I say: no one needs to be ‘cured’ of any sin. But if you WANT eternal and glorious life with God, then you will honor and obey him. You will do what Jesus did: wash the feet of the poor, feed the poor, clothe the naked, visit the prisoner. You will DECIDE to obey God- not because he is a tyrant, but because all of God’s laws were laid down to bring us life, not death. And Jesus was sent with this loving message from God, “I know you can’t ever be without sin- even in your heart. And I forgive you for it. Just apologize and try harder next time. You are loved beyond measure and my life, my death and my resurrection were performed to prove this love.”

So, no cures needed. Only a decision: LIFE or DEATH?  What will each of you choose?


  1. Sodom and Gomorrah happened for a reason.
    Leviticus ch 20, vs 13, states the Lord’s stance on these issues no holes barred.
    The Bible states throughout it’s text that homosexuality is an abomination to the Lord.
    Curing it demands an adherence to the Lord’s teachings.
    To bad that many who practice this aberration of nature and the total disregard of God and His wisdom will be allowed to disrupt laws that were put in place to prevent this very societal self destruction.

    Great post Susan !

  2. There’s nothing wrong or immoral with same-sex relationships because they cause no harm. It’s really that simple. I know several monogamous gay couples and they spread no disease, hurt no children and don’t hurt each other – they look genuinely happy.

    • Joe. You say that they cause no harm. While I could argue that point, I won’t. That isn’t the focus of my work. My point is to tell the truth about what both God and Jesus said about homosexuality. I do this so that no one will have a single doubt. Many people only hear paraphrases or church doctrine on the matter. I am giving you God’s & Jesus’ own words. But I can tell you one thing for sure- sexual immorality harms the person who practices it. It is repetitive and willful disobedience that one brings into their own bodies. Homosexual sex harms people because it causes them to reject God. You can put the blame on me, but the real problem you have is with God. HE is your and my judge. Homosexuals reject God because they refuse to call their sex immoral. Thus, they need to reject the very foundation of moral and immoral: God. And to reject God is to reject eternal life and is to embrace eternal death and possibly even torment. Is THAT not harmful? Here is what Apostle Paul said about sexual immorality in general:

      “15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”[a] 17 But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.[b]

      18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”

  3. The entire conversation about decision is one central to the walk of any true Christian. ALL of God’s blessings and promises are contingent upon a decision WE make, if you my children, then I your God… with the one exception of His love for us (no choice there, John 3:16). Think about it this way, in the absence of a choice, how else could we come to love God? Choice precludes manipulation, by design in God’s eternal economy. Love must be a choice, freely made for it to be pure.

  4. Actually, you dodged the central question in your first paragraph. People may choose their actions, but that does not tell us the origin of the orientation. It may sound profound to sweep this aside in favor of one big sweeping pronouncement against sin, but that is precisely the problem. There is no room for actual people in the logic of your post, and that’s a shame.

    • Wrong. Actual people make actual DECISIONS. While a man might LUST after a woman (or women), to follow through with a one night stand is a DECISION. Sin is always a decision. To say otherwise is to make us automatons and animals. We are neither. We are children of God, empowered by choice. It is an awesome responsibility. And it is our CHOICE that defines who we are, who we will become and how we will stand before our God.

      Trying to nit pick on ‘source of orientation’ is to also make assumptions. Mainly, that ‘orientation’ is real phenomena. That people are ‘born that way’. They are not. As is witnessed by a huge percentage of people who practice sex with both sexes. BECAUSE society is being forced to ‘tolerate’ and accept homosexual behavior as ‘normal’ and ‘good’, it tempts people into avoiding real issues in their lives- including rape or sexual molestation or lust or spiritual depression or even just plain evil.

      I have lived in San Francisco and I can assure you that the men who practice homosexuality do it for the lifestyle. It basically means continuous, kinky sex- and TONS of money to blow on… THEMSELVES. That’s the bottom line, brother. And let’s face it. For a man, that is attractive. As long as the social stigma is removed and as long as the man feels no allegiance to God, then why not? No responsibility, no children, no women to provide for, lots and lots of money to blow on toys (and not a bunch of hungry mouths)- sounds great! right?

      Too bad that God said NO. This type of sexual immorality DEGRADES a man. When men marry women, they are made better by it- literally. Their lust is tempered by loyal love. Their lust results in children and family and responsibility. It results in the selfless creation of both new people on earth but a better, more noble man who can stand upright before the Lord when his day of judgement comes.

      The question is: which type of man do you want to be?

    • “There is no room for actual people in the logic of your post, and that’s a shame.”

      Interesting comment, not sure at all I can even begin to understand it. This world, life and all that is associated with it are populated with “real people.” Are you in some way making a distinction between “real people” and another type of person?

  5. You are so right… cure suggests sickness, and sickness suggests something we can not control nor make a conscious choice to engage in, it “happens” to us uninvited. Thus, we have NO responsibility to deal with it, it’s external to us in certain ways. Sin, on the other hand, is a conscious choice, with no one to blame but ourselves for its effect. Too many want to maintain distance between the problem and the solution, thus we come up with “intelligent” sounding excuses for actions which scripture clearly identifies as sin. Sin must be FORGIVEN, by He who gave all, there is no “cure” for it in a medical sense. We can fool man with the clever use of the word “sickness,” we will never fool God however!

    • no. we can’t fool Him. He sees into our hearts- it lays naked before him. That is why evil scatters before his light. In many ways, to be so utterly known by God is terrifying. But if you consider God to be ‘Abba’, then it is so comforting. We are truly his creatures. THAT is the thing we have no choice over. We can deal with it by moving toward God, or away from God- but we will never not be his creature.

  6. Do you think God can take away the attraction or will people just struggle with it forever and remain celibate and alone if they truly want to follow God? What about asexual people who are homoromantic? As in, if it weren’t about sex, just emotional attraction to the same gender.

    • Jo. CAN God do something? Of course. he CAN do anything. But WILL he? That is the question. But let me ask you another question, “Will God remove the temptation to sin? to adultery? To murder? To envy? To steal? To gluttany?” What you are asking is ‘will God remove the temptation of sin?’. Well, perhaps. Each of us walks with God with our own journeys. We all struggle equally with sin. Each has his/her weakness. To have multiple affairs on your husband or wife is wrong too. See my point? I have asked Jesus to put his angels around me to keep satan far, far away from me. I have asked Jesus to deal with satan FOR me because I have his work to do on earth. I rely on Jesus to do this for me. And once, when I had the most bizarre temptation that would not leave my head, I called out to Jesus to bind satan. And he did. It was instantly gone.

      But each walk is different with Jesus. Each person must develop their own relationship with him. God may or may not remove temptation. It depends on what he thinks is best for your development.

      But. DESIRE is one thing. ACTION is another. Therein lies our humanity.

      I don’t believe the only answer to those who have homosexual sex is abstinence. I say this because this is to presuppose that a person who practices homosexuality is ‘born that way’ and CAN’T have any other kind of sex. They aren’t. Almost all people who claim to be homosexual have had many sexual liaisons with those of the opposite sex. A huge percentage have even been married and have kids. There goes the whole ‘born that way’ argument AND the argument that abstinence is the ONLY answer for these people.

      Clearly, people who practice homosexual sex CAN and do have normal sex. But one must look at WHY they switch to homosexual sex. Personally, I have noticed that most women have been hurt by men in some way. Either they were molested or raped or they feel completely unattractive to men. Or that men have spurned them so often that they no longer wish to try. But they are lonely and still crave love. So, they turn to the ‘gentler sex’. One with which they can get along better. No more fear of rejection. I have also noticed that sex is not a huge priority for these women. Comfort, love and friendship is.

      Men seem to practice gay sex for the sheer lifestyle- endless kinky sex and lots of money to spend on toys and not on hungry little mouths. Also, no bitching woman that he can’t understand. This would be heaven for most men if there were no social stigma or a mighty, moral and displeased God involved.

      I believe that underlying most homosexual sex are much deeper problems, Jo. And when society shoves this idea that it is ‘good’, ‘normal’ and ‘right’, it tempts people to not address the real issues in their life.

      But I can promise you this: Jesus is the answer to every problem. To lean on Jesus, to call out to him to save you is to open the door to a transformed life. Jesus has asked us to give our ENTIRE lives to him. And that includes something as petty as our sex lives. Once you experience the sheer joy of God through Jesus, you will be amazed that you ever thought it was a hard choice. People focus on sex too much. It is truly a small part of our lives- not worth losing your soul over.

      We are ALL born with sin. It doesn’t follow that we have no choice but to BE sinful. Again, our humanity lies in the CHOICE we have to obey God or to disobey God. It’s simple, really.

      • Excellent, well-thought out piece and responses, Little Rebel. In today’s society, especially, the lines become blurred where sin is concerned. Every sin removes us a little further away from God, whether the sin is sexual immorality, greed, envy, stealing, slothfulness, etc. But the first step towards trying to eradicate sin in our lives is recognizing what is sinful and calling it by its rightful name.

  7. Reblogged this on itsaweirdweirdworld and commented:
    An insightful and well reasoned look at the real issue behind homosexuality and sexual obsessions of all kinds. If I didn’t think this was worth reading I wouldn’t reblog it, so open your heart and read away…

  8. Amen and very well said. For a lot of years I let my obsession with sex be my guide and all it ever brought me was heartache and turmoil. Now I no longer act on those impulses and it is getting easier and easier to do; even though my treacherous heart may still want it I am learning to ignore that obsession. Thank you for a well-reasoned and insightful post.

    • You are welcome, David. Yes, I believe that Paul’s recommendation to focus on all things GOOD and high and moral and right truly does lead to inner peace. God created irony- by losing this life, we actually gain it- and we gain it the way it was supposed to be! To purse the animal side of our nature is to follow satan- it can only lead to unhappiness, strain and stress. We can help this process along by SERVING, actively going out and serving our fellow man.

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