Introducing Pope Francis- The Hottest New Star in Hollywood!
Check this dude out! He is so radically, awesomely Progressive! He told us all that God will forgive atheists and homosexuals as long as they feel good about what they are doing. As long as they have good intentions! Aaaand, hold your seats.. (drum roll please!) he also tells us that the Catholic Church, under his leadership, will stop ‘obsessing’ on those trivial matters as Jesus’ redeeming blood (geeze, how old is THAT embarrassing tradition?), homosexuality, abortion and contraception! The entire liberal world is embracing these new thoughts and are booking seats at the next mass.
Hollywood stars are hitting the Twittersphere with gushing rave reviews! Chris Rock, funny man turned atheist politician called him ‘the greatest man alive.’ And from a guy who said that Obama IS the Messiah, you know this is high praise indeed! Jane Fonda even took time out from her normal ‘America Sucks’ campaign and added some kudos as well! Check out their tweets:
“I might be crazy, but I get this weird feeling that the new Pope might be the greatest man alive!”- Chris Rock
“Gotta love new Pope. He cares about poor, hates dogma. Unlike US Congress. Cutting $40bil from food stamps. Uh oh!!”- Jane Fonda
On a side note, we attempted to reach Rock and Fonda to see how much of their personal wealth they were donating to feed the hungry people whom Congress is so cruelly starving! No response thus far…
And from a completely different corner of the world, Rupert Murdoch, owner of FOX News, chimed in with
“Pope Francis setting great example in humility and thought provoking open thinking. Really Refreshing.”
This comes as a bit of a shock to those who thought Murdoch held staunch conservative thoughts. Will wonders never cease?
The Catholic Church, which has been plagued with a mass exodus of people who were either looking for an evangelical style church or were upset over its previously held ‘staid and fussy’ rules, is now expecting their pews to be stuffed full of homosexuals, atheists, pro-abortion activists and agnostics- which, of course, will help the Church pay off all those bogus child rape cases ! In fact, the future for the Catholic Church coffers is looking to beat all records this year alone. Politicians, you had better get in line, because this ‘interested party’ might just be your ticket to fame and fortune!
World, perhaps I’m wrong, but I believe we are witnessing the rise of a new star! I think this guy is gonna change the world as we know it! Who’s going to the after party??