Where Are The Parents Of Suicidal/Homicidal Teens?

sparks
A parent escorts his child from Agnes Risley Elementary School after a shooting Monday, October 21, at nearby Sparks Middle School in Sparks, Nevada. A student opened fire at the middle school, police said, killing a teacher and wounding two students.

I think about all the instruction I give my children in the mornings over breakfast. All the kisses on their sleepy heads and the ‘I love you’s’ before they have even opened their eyes fully in the morning. I think about calling out to them as they leave for school- I tell them to ‘listen to your teachers! No pulling cards today (a form of discipline)! Stay together!” I think about the cheerful time when they get home and all come to my desk with kisses and hello’s, fresh wind in their hair & full of the day’s news and events. Sometimes, they come home full of anger and annoyance. Sometimes, they are sad because of a bad grade or a friend problem. ALL of this serves as opportunities for life lessons, love and discipline.

Then, I think of the rhythm of the afternoon and evening: chores, homework, sports, or just play and t.v. This is the time where I help them with Algebra, spelling, writing, etc. THIS is where I tell them I expect straight A’s from every one of them as we review their test results online. This is where I tell them that they will not only pull their weight in society, but they will LEAD this society someday. I teach them about politics, humanity, and good common sense concerning boys and girls, dating, marriage and sex. Yes! We talk about that all the time. When my son takes out the garbage, I talk to him about being a man someday. I talk, sing, tell them about God & Jesus, and just am PRESENT for them all day long.

Sometimes they fight like cats and dogs- again, more opportunities about life and how they will need each other- especially because we are in the end days. I can SEE that they aren’t on the internet viewing porn, which shows they are watching on t.v. and that they aren’t abusing the phone or hanging out with troublesome kids. In fact, all the neighbor kids come HERE to hang out with my kids- which is exactly what I want.

Here is my question: WHO THE HECK WOULD DO ALL THIS FOR ME IF I WEREN’T HOME????

It isn’t a criticism! It is an honest question! If I had my old, very lucrative career still, I wouldn’t be home until about 6:30 every night. Sure, we have NO MONEY! Sure, we never go on vacation. Sure, I’m still nursing the gorgeous shoes I could afford when I was working 13 years ago! Sure, the house is getting tattered and is in dire need of a new roof. Sure, my husband WALKS to work because we can’t afford another car. Sure, we run out of money long before new cash comes in for food. Think that dusty cabinet food tastes great?? But I just can’t imagine them growing up with NO ONE to teach them all that I do before 6:30 pm everyday! And IF I came home so late, the very last thing I would want to do is lecture the kids or discipline them for things I never got to see. I could never even THINK about all I should teach them because it wouldn’t be fitting into the circumstances that naturally inspire such ‘talks’. I would want a shower, dinner, a stiff drink and time to wind down. I would want GOOD times with the kids, not negative time. I wouldn’t be able to do homework- my brain would be shot. Anyway, their homework would be done by then. It would be a mess. I don’t know how anyone can raise kids and not be at home. I just don’t.

10 comments

  1. acceptance of God is not a good answer to anything.
    God is always where he wants to be ,he give us the right to accept him.
    how good is God to let us want him.
    at times you give info of your own self, from your point of view and not biblical .
    usage of words such as ,suspect, assume, maybe ,perhaps.
    these words imply one does not know,but wants to make believe that are good answers.
    been there for your kids is not a blessing,educate with do,deeds and sight, by words. use the bible,

    • Wynn, you answer really confuses me. You say to use the bible and then you say that acceptance of God is not a good answer to anything. What? That is completely illogical. Then, you say being there for my kids is NOT a blessing. Then you tell me to ‘educate with do, deeds and sight.” Listen, you’re not making sense here. Do you care to clarify?

  2. thanks for sacrificing for your kids ! I do NOT use that word lightly – you are sacrificing, & it ain’t over yet. I assure you it is worth it. My kids are in their 20’s & I am grateful for the time I spent with them. They needed it – even when they didn’t appear to. Stay the course! this world gets tougher to navigate every doggoned MONTH – our kids need us.

    • They do need us. I once thought I would never stay home with them. Then, I saw my baby girl’s new face and little body and I knew she needed me. Then, I thought I would leave once she was out of diapers. But when she got out of diapers, she was raising up her hands to me- I knew she needed me. Also, I was pregnant with my second! This went on until I had my last- my boy. He’s 9 and is the most wonderful boy in the world. And he tells me himself that he needs me. What can I say? Little does a mother know how very lovely it is to be needed before she has her first. But once you come out on the other side, you wouldn’t leave it, or them, for the world.

  3. I think you have a healthy set of values. I’m sure your children will benefit psychologically in future from the daily actions you take, and the sacrifices you make on their behalf.

    One of a diligent parent’s worst fears is that something beyond their control will hurt the kids. Drunk drivers. Pedophiles. Dangerous strangers. Accidents. Me, I worry about diseases. It upsets me when we have to refer a toddler over to the hospital because their parent was misinformed about the importance of vaccinations.

    There are sometimes instances where good intentions combine with difficult circumstances, and it ends in tragedy. I believe the Sandy Hook murderer was one of those. He had brain chemistry problems, and was becoming unable to relate to reality. His mom didn’t feel the school and health care system had her back, she ceased working and tried to home-school him. She felt trapped and overwhelmed, her marriage broke up, and all she had left was this pitiful, damaged teenager and a fat divorce settlement. She became angry, exhausted, isolated, she kept unsecured guns at home. You know the rest.

    It’s easy to “Monday-morning quarterback” these news stories, is what I’m trying to say. You need the compassion of a saint to be able to fully grasp the level of personal tragedy behind some of these crimes. With that in mind, here’s a link to a CNN article in which one of the latest kid’s school mates says he had been bullied: http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/22/justice/nevada-middle-school-shooting/

    • Hi Invisible, you know, it’s a little difficult to answer you on this one because I don’t believe Sandy Hook went down the way they said at all. I believe our government killed kids- or that it was a mock shooting. So, it’s hard to respond to that point. However, I believe you are really referring to the ‘arm chair quarterbacking’ that you feel I might be doing. I hear ya. I do. And yet, there is no denying that bad parenting is at the heart of of this situation. It can’t be otherwise. Even with mental health issues, where were the parents? Why have a gun and ammo sitting around where a 12 year old boy with supposed mental problems could get them? If he was suicidal or homicidal, why was he in public school? As for the bullying, I believe it 100%. What we see there is simply MORE bad parenting. Those bullies are produced by the same kind of parenting that produces suicidal/homicidal kids. My daughter was bullied for years and you can bet your bottom dollar that I made a stink that hit the newspapers! And I am not joking. Our Superintendent bent over backward to make it right for my daughter. We got a bus and a new, better school. And now, she is happy. One kid threatened her with ‘putting her in the hospital’. Um, yeah. I ‘spoke’ to that kid MYSELF on the playground. He didn’t look so big then, now did he? And as for the parents of those bullies, they got an earful from me as well. I know our culture is also culpable. But I believe in that ol’ saying: “The buck stops here.” We need to ante up as parents.

  4. Excellent post. Your sacrifice will be gold as your children grow in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (and their mom)! Trent

    Trent Gaites SPORTWORX, INC. 200 Tweed Court Sugar Hill, GA. 30518 1-888-967-2323 Local: 678-541-6810 Fax: 678-541-6812 Mobile: 404-409-2742 http://www.sportworx.com http://www.companycasuals.com/sportworx Over 90 lines of apparel and scrubs. Over 800,000 quality promotional products. Unparalleled Service, Selection & Savings!

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    • Hi SLR, I am very touched by your post. I have been a single mom ever since I was pregnant, 25 years ago. I also chose to stay at home as much as I could. Now I am living from almost nothing, and feel sometimes as if I was a loser. Your post somehow made me see my life in a different way. I surely have not done a good education as you – because I was no believer then. I regret that now bitterly, as my son is atheist – at best he says he can imagine there is a God who created all this, but he cannot imagine Jesus. I am sometimes – when I pray for him – very dsperate. But otherwise he turned out to be a fine person. Very friendly, sociable, and always peaceful.

      • Hi Tasu, being there for you kids is the greatest blessing you could give them. I’m sorry that you didn’t have God at that time- it must have been very difficult. God led me on a VERY circuitous route too- and I have come to understand that ALL the hardships- and all the pleasures have prepared me for the work I do for him now. Believe it or not, having once been an atheist yourself, you can RELATE to your son’s condition very well. Speak to him on that basis. What it was like before you had salvation and God and what it is like now. Be honest and he will derive the benefit. Be BOLD! You’re his MOM and NO ONE will influence him like you. Remember, he’s not your friend. He is your baby boy- until the day you die. Probably even after that! lol! Step out in faith, sister, and you can not fail!

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