Losing Everything Can Be Quite Wonderful
This case is really taking its toll on my blogging work, I’m afraid. I apologize for the poor quality of my Facebook page these last months. Most of my time is now spent bringing my incredible new lawyers up to speed on my case. Yes, if haven’t told you, I have gone ahead and hired a law firm to represent me in this defamation case. I should have done this from the beginning. I want to thank those of you who are now knowingly shaking your head and thinking, “I knew it,” for not saying so. I admit to my foolishness. All I can say is that Cal and I truly did our best to make the best decisions for our family along the way. The cost of defending myself (over six figures) that was quoted beforehand took our breath away. It would have bankrupted us.
And yet, we are now happily paying those exact fees. The cost hasn’t changed, nor have the consequences. Only the decision has changed. We discovered a very pertinent fact: I would never be able to claim bankruptcy and discharge the $3 million debt. Apparently, defamation is considered a ‘malicious act’ & is not dischargeable! I might have hired a lawyer from the start had I known that beforehand, but hindsight is 20/20. But I fear not.
Everything is under the authority of God. This is going exactly as he planned. When I am weak, he is strong. Through my stupid mistakes, God will deliver me even more gloriously- just watch him work! God will not allow me to be a slave to my attacker. In fact, he will turn and punish my attacker for what he is doing.
The best part of all this is that my husband and I are one. The Bible speaks of this- but we are experiencing it now. It is a blessing to lose all material things. It has a liberation within its folds. What appears to be a terrible load unravels and white doves fly out from it. Freedom lies within! Love lies within! Loyalty lies within! Faith, friendship & spiritual power lay within! Who knew?
My children see me working on my court documents and they silently wrap their arms around me- my oldest asks me, “How are you doing, Little Mother?” My husband and I drink coffee and quietly discuss the case together, heads pressed close, bare feet touching. So what if we lose everything, we all say to each other. We carry our happiness and home on our backs, don’t we? We are like a little family of snails, aren’t we? We could live in a teeny, tiny apartment and be happy, can’t we? In fact, our happiest times have been doing just that on vacation! Sometimes this big house just feels like a burden. Too much to clean. We aren’t afraid of losing stuff- as long as we have each other, what can make us unhappy, we ask each other and smile big smiles. We are a happy power team. That part is invigorating! The worse it gets, the calmer we get.
Remember I told you that I had a feeling that I was Jonah and that I was going to Nineveh? Well, I’m going. What should have been a simple jurisdiction case has morphed into a full-blown defamation case. Even though all the facts are on my side, I still need to go through all the motions of defending myself. Anyone can sue anyone if they have the money to do so. It’s called revenge by court. I guess he figures that if he can’t have his star, he needs to take someone else’s life away. I’m the scapegoat for his rage. Nevertheless, God is with me. I find myself more calm and peaceful than ever. Cheerful, in fact. I literally couldn’t find a lawyer who would defend me before the jurisdiction hearing. But after that devastating loss, God brought me this spectacular law firm. Such decent, law-abiding, God-fearing men. Of course, they don’t tell me that, but I can hear it in their words. They aren’t liars or creeps- they are ethical to the bone. They would never lie for me- and that suits me just fine. My attacker has a lawyer to match him in every way. God has his ways. Truth will always win in the end.
I’m going to Nineveh. God has a point to make.
Concerning this enormous sum of money that is required, God has not forsaken us. Incredibly, we were able to use a nice credit vehicle where we borrow from ourselves & we pay ourselves the interest. We had saved that for years for my future business venture. Thank God (literally) we were frugal and saved it. Also, Cal got a new job as a corporate investigator for Boeing. He has been seeking one for four years. Here’s the amazing part: we had a church growth group at our home two years ago and my pastor asked Cal to tell him the specific job of his dreams so that he could pray for it. Well, Cal wanted this exact job. He didn’t get it at the time & was sad. But just when we needed the most help, God dropped his dream job into his lap! So Cal is very happy. He had to change jobs because his old job was law enforcement – there is a forced retirement age- he was getting very worried as the deadline was getting nearer- especially with this case & its financial demands. To top it off, God and his goodness added something more: his old job just happened to be offering early retirement incentives! Another big chunk for the case. That was not all that God has done for us recently- Cal also found a very lucrative second job that fits perfectly with his work with Boeing. So, another way to help pay for this monstrosity. God always comes through when it counts. We have a long year ahead of us- what looks impossible to human beings is nothing to God.
About Cal, my dear husband. With him working all the time now, I don’t get to see him much & it makes me sad. I just love him so much. I don’t talk about him much here, ’cause, you know, it’s private. But I just want you all to know that he is taking good care of yours truly. He works so hard. In fact, the worst part of this all is that a bad man is taking all the hard-earned money away from such a good man. My man has worked all his life responsibly, reasonably, and ethically- providing for his family in such an honorable, kind and wonderful way. And then comes this thief with a mouth full of lies and takes it. All because I tried to help women. But this is why I know God is with us. All will be restored in the end. A good man is seen by God. So is a bad man. Eventually, this will all be over and Cal can relax again and we will go back to a normal life. But he is so cheerful everyday- you would never know he works non-stop, weekends and all. (and you all know he technically still has cancer!) Please pray for his strength!
The Lord, God, is so good. I KNOW that no matter what happens, he will not only restore our fortunes, but he will make Cal and I thrive. He loves us and upholds us. He knows that I never meant any harm to anyone. He knows that I never had revenge in my heart. He knows that, in fact, I felt gracious toward my attacker. I even offered his attorney a deal where I would wipe the entire internet clean of every reference of my attacker if he would simply apologize for what he did. I would sign a legal agreement to never write about it again. It wasn’t good enough, he wants my blood to spill. God knows that I felt sorry for my attacker’s wife and children- I love all children. Because I didn’t want them to suffer, I didn’t want my attacker to even be put in prison. My only goal was to save future women from being affected from the influence of an unrepentant rapist. That’s it. God is with me for these reasons. He will uphold me and not my rapist. God cares what motives are in our hearts.
I want to leave you with this thought- truly, what seems impossible in every way is not impossible to God. I saw a lawsuit that would cost over $100,000 and thought it was impossible. It was not impossible. God brought the money. I thought my husband would be angry and regretful that he married me for bringing this trouble upon him. He is not angry and in fact, has professed his love for me more sweetly than he has for many, many years. His words brought tears to my eyes. I thought my children would be angry at me or think less of me and instead found out that they are proud of me and are standing behind me. I thought I had brought everyone down because I felt it was important to step up with my beliefs- but they, instead, are lifting me up. God is in their hearts as he is in mine. Nothing is impossible for God! When all is lost, everything is gained! He who will save his life will lose it, he who will give his life for the sake of the Lord will win everlasting life! There is joy in loss! Who knew? Friends, believe every Word from your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Believe every Word from God. All his promises are true. We need fear nothing, my friends. All may be taken, but nothing of importance. Our true treasures are in heaven. Heaven is in our midst if we but had eyes to see it. Even the greatest joys of this earth can’t be taken from us by any man or satan for they reside in God’s realm- the love of our spouse, children & friends. God’s name will be glorified in this trial- as it will be glorified throughout all time.