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Losing Everything Can Be Quite Wonderful

verse-001This case is really taking its toll on my blogging work, I’m afraid. I apologize for the poor quality of my Facebook page these last months. Most of my time is now spent bringing my incredible new lawyers up to speed on my case. Yes, if haven’t told you, I have gone ahead and hired a law firm to represent me in this defamation case. I should have done this from the beginning. I want to thank those of you who are now knowingly shaking your head and thinking, “I knew it,” for not saying so. I admit to my foolishness. All I can say is that Cal and I truly did our best to make the best decisions for our family along the way. The cost of defending myself (over six figures) that was quoted beforehand took our breath away. It would have bankrupted us.

And yet, we are now happily paying those exact fees. The cost hasn’t changed, nor have the consequences. Only the decision has changed. We discovered a very pertinent fact: I would never be able to claim bankruptcy and discharge the $3 million debt. Apparently, defamation is considered a ‘malicious act’ & is not dischargeable! I might have hired a lawyer from the start had I known that beforehand, but hindsight is 20/20. But I fear not.

Everything is under the authority of God. This is going exactly as he planned. When I am weak, he is strong. Through my stupid mistakes, God will deliver me even more gloriously- just watch him work! God will not allow me to be a slave to my attacker. In fact, he will turn and punish my attacker for what he is doing.

The best part of all this is that my husband and I are one. The Bible speaks of this- but we are experiencing it now. It is a blessing to lose all material things. It has a liberation within its folds. What appears to be a terrible load unravels and white doves fly out from it. Freedom lies within! Love lies within! Loyalty lies within! Faith, friendship & spiritual power lay within! Who knew?

My children see me working on my court documents and they silently wrap their arms around me- my oldest asks me, “How are you doing, Little Mother?” My husband and I drink coffee and quietly discuss the case together, heads pressed close, bare feet touching. So what if we lose everything, we all say to each other. We carry our happiness and home on our backs, don’t we? We are like a little family of snails, aren’t we? We could live in a teeny, tiny apartment and be happy, can’t we? In fact, our happiest times have been doing just that on vacation! Sometimes this big house just feels like a burden. Too much to clean. We aren’t afraid of losing stuff- as long as we have each other, what can make us unhappy, we ask each other and smile big smiles. We are a happy power team. That part is invigorating! The worse it gets, the calmer we get.

Remember I told you that I had a feeling that I was Jonah and that I was going to Nineveh? Well, I’m going. What should have been a simple jurisdiction case has morphed into a full-blown defamation case. Even though all the facts are on my side, I still need to go through all the motions of defending myself. Anyone can sue anyone if they have the money to do so. It’s called revenge by court. I guess he figures that if he can’t have his star, he needs to take someone else’s life away. I’m the scapegoat for his rage. Nevertheless, God is with me. I find myself more calm and peaceful than ever. Cheerful, in fact. I literally couldn’t find a lawyer who would defend me before the jurisdiction hearing. But after that devastating loss, God brought me this spectacular law firm. Such decent, law-abiding, God-fearing men. Of course, they don’t tell me that, but I can hear it in their words. They aren’t liars or creeps- they are ethical to the bone. They would never lie for me- and that suits me just fine. My attacker has a lawyer to match him in every way. God has his ways. Truth will always win in the end.

I’m going to Nineveh. God has a point to make.

Concerning this enormous sum of money that is required, God has not forsaken us. Incredibly, we were able to use a nice credit vehicle where we borrow from ourselves & we pay ourselves the interest. We had saved that for years for my future business venture. Thank God (literally) we were frugal and saved it. Also, Cal got a new job as a corporate investigator for Boeing. He has been seeking one for four years. Here’s the amazing part: we had a church growth group at our home two years ago and my pastor asked Cal to tell him the specific job of his dreams so that he could pray for it. Well, Cal wanted this exact job. He didn’t get it at the time & was sad. But just when we needed the most help, God dropped his dream job into his lap! So Cal is very happy. He had to change jobs because his old job was law enforcement – there is a forced retirement age- he was getting very worried as the deadline was getting nearer- especially with this case & its financial demands. To top it off, God and his goodness added something more: his old job just happened to be offering early retirement incentives! Another big chunk for the case. That was not all that God has done for us recently- Cal also found a very lucrative second job that fits perfectly with his work with Boeing. So, another way to help pay for this monstrosity. God always comes through when it counts. We have a long year ahead of us- what looks impossible to human beings is nothing to God.

About Cal, my dear husband. With him working all the time now, I don’t get to see him much & it makes me sad. I just love him so much. I don’t talk about him much here, ’cause, you know, it’s private. But I just want you all to know that he is taking good care of yours truly. He works so hard. In fact, the worst part of this all is that a bad man is taking all the hard-earned money away from such a good man. My man has worked all his life responsibly, reasonably, and ethically- providing for his family in such an honorable, kind and wonderful way. And then comes this thief with a mouth full of lies and takes it. All because I tried to help women. But this is why I know God is with us. All will be restored in the end. A good man is seen by God. So is a bad man. Eventually, this will all be over and Cal can relax again and we will go back to a normal life. But he is so cheerful everyday- you would never know he works non-stop, weekends and all. (and you all know he technically still has cancer!) Please pray for his strength!

The Lord, God, is so good. I KNOW that no matter what happens, he will not only restore our fortunes, but he will make Cal and I thrive. He loves us and upholds us. He knows that I never meant any harm to anyone. He knows that I never had revenge in my heart. He knows that, in fact, I felt gracious toward my attacker. I even offered his attorney a deal where I would wipe the entire internet clean of every reference of my attacker if he would simply apologize for what he did. I would sign a legal agreement to never write about it again. It wasn’t good enough, he wants my blood to spill. God knows that I felt sorry for my attacker’s wife and children- I love all children. Because I didn’t want them to suffer, I didn’t want my attacker to even be put in prison. My only goal was to save future women from being affected from the influence of an unrepentant rapist. That’s it. God is with me for these reasons. He will uphold me and not my rapist. God cares what motives are in our hearts.

I want to leave you with this thought- truly, what seems impossible in every way is not impossible to God. I saw a lawsuit that would cost over $100,000 and thought it was impossible. It was not impossible. God brought the money. I thought my husband would be angry and regretful that he married me for bringing this trouble upon him. He is not angry and in fact, has professed his love for me more sweetly than he has for many, many years. His words brought tears to my eyes. I thought my children would be angry at me or think less of me and instead found out that they are proud of me and are standing behind me. I thought I had brought everyone down because I felt it was important to step up with my beliefs- but they, instead, are lifting me up. God is in their hearts as he is in mine. Nothing is impossible for God! When all is lost, everything is gained! He who will save his life will lose it, he who will give his life for the sake of the Lord will win everlasting life! There is joy in loss! Who knew? Friends, believe every Word from your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Believe every Word from God. All his promises are true. We need fear nothing, my friends. All may be taken, but nothing of importance. Our true treasures are in heaven.  Heaven is in our midst if we but had eyes to see it.  Even the greatest joys of this earth can’t be taken from us by any man or satan for they reside in God’s realm- the love of our spouse, children & friends.  God’s name will be glorified in this trial- as it will be glorified throughout all time.


  1. Hi there. I just discovered your blog online as I was doing some research about end times. I wanted to give you some encouragement. I too have been recently persececuted (by my PASTOR of all people and my family as well) about my belief that end times are coming very soon. I have been reading Rabbi Cahn’s work and I am pretty convinced. I started speaking out very vehemently about it and thinking that my pastor (who is very smart and very in tune with scripture) would embrace it. He was SO condescending and rude. He accused me of not focusing on the “right” things, my family. That I shouldn’t be thinking about or worried about such things. He even convinced my husband for a time that I possibly needed to see a psychiatrist because I am having “psychotic ideations about somehow being involved in the end of the world” because I told him that God was revealing some things to me. My husband went to a psychiatrist who actually suggested I be put on lithium. Thankfully, God opened my husbands eyes and now he sees what I am seeing. But the work of the enemy is everywhere!!! Especially in the churches. My pastor read Rabbi Cahn’s work and dismissed it on all levels. He’s a false prophet (I don’t think he fits the description of a false prophet) , America doesn’t have a covenant relationship with Israel (really? What part of the peace treaty in 1948 do you not understand?), he can’t make any of those predictions because no one can predict the 2nd coming of Christ. Really? He is predicting the 2nd coming? Hmmm, I thought that happens AFTER the anti-Christ rises and the 7 year reign. Even more. That there is no such thing as “The Great Harvest” described in Isaiah 60 which talks about light rising out of great darkness over the land. He said everyone who is going to be harvested has been or is in the process of being harvested and all we are waiting on is the rapture. Hmmm, sounds like maybe Christians will be the light that rises out of darkness as described in Isaiah 60. And it our light rises, we have to be here still. So we can’t be raptures until after that. SO many things that are so plain as day to me and even a very well read pastor who knows the bible inside and out is rejecting it. It’s a real life Left Behind situation I have in my own life right now with a pastor who may get Left Behind if he can’t admit that maybe he missed something. My point in all of this is that I could have caved under the pressure of this. But I didn’t AND God is honoring it SO much. Staying SO close to me that I feel so totally protected. Because I am at the center of his will for me. The SAFEST place to be. So stay strong. If Rabbi Cahn is correct, it’s only six more weeks until God kicks the shit out of evil. (Sorry for the language but there is SO much evil). I feel honored to be if this generation to witness this and also be able to participate in Gods work through it. Thousands will be saved during the Great Harvest. Keep holding onto that!!!

    • Hi Paula, how can I say this to you? My dear, I don’t believe in Rabbi Cahn’s work either. The Bible is very clear that no one knows the date or time of Christ’s return. Not even Jesus himself. I find it so ironic to get your message today of all days. I had a friend send me a video from Rabbi Cahn and asked me to review it. I found it very interesting. But my spirit stirred with suspicion, not agreement. Then, I saw that he had predicted, in 2013, the very day of the next American financial collapse- it is to be this Sept. 2015. I noted, however, that he recently changed that video to say that it ‘might’ happen ‘before’ Sept. 2015. Paula, these are signs of a scammer, I’m afraid. I listened to his dates and his explanations. He is just too vague about almost everything. He claims that things happened exactly on certain dates, but he actually glosses over them so quickly on the video that you can hardly catch your breath. Then, when you rewind, you realize that he is smudging everything around. Because I write a lot on prophecy, I receive all kinds of material like this. I believe in only ONE source for prophecy- the Bible. This is the ONLY source you should also believe. By your writing, I can see that you have put too much trust into a mere human being- Rabbi Cahn. He is only a man. His book is just a book. You have only his word- and that of a few other people- of how it came to be published. It could be the biggest scam around. He offers no real proof. He plays a lot of awesome sounding music and jumps to huge conclusions. His words are very exciting, especially for Christians hungry for Christ’s return. But I truly feel he is a fake. There have been so many false prophets. There will be so many more. ANYONE claiming to know the date and time of Christ’s return is, by definition and according to the Bible itself, a liar. Here is your proof from the Bible:

      “3As Jesus was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to him privately. “Tell us,” they said, “when will this happen, and what will be the sign of your coming and of the end of the age?”

      ….”36“But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son,f but only the Father.” Matt 24

      I don’t think you are crazy, Paula. But I do think you have placed your trust in a huckster. Use only the Bible as your guide. Listen only to the Holy Spirit as your Teacher. Then, you can never be fooled. This man, Rabbi Cahn, I truly believe, is not someone we can trust. This is my opinion on the matter. Sincerely, Susan

  2. SLR, I am so proud of you and your family for following through with this horrible experience, and for keeping your faith in God strong. All the time I was reading this, I kept thinking of Job, and all that he lost, and how God, not only, restored his loss, but added more blessings to him. Yes, God is stronger than any evil that attacks us. I always liked the 23rd Psalm, it gave me strength when I was feeling depressed. My husband is a cancer survivor, but has some memory loss due to the chemicals used to cure the cancer, however, I am thankful to have him, a bit of memory loss is a small price to pay in exchange for my husband’s health, and thankful he still remembers me, and the important people in our life. He still has to be monitored ever so often, to make sure he is still clean of cancer, but, again, that is trivial compared to what could have been. Good medical care along with prayer worked a miracle. Thank you for sharing your story, and God’s blessings continue to be with you through your trial through fire, so to speak. I know he will not allow this terrible beast in a man’s appearance to win over his child, so keep trusting in God, and go for his juggler (figuratively speaking), but I know, as a Christian, you will be kinder than he deserves. The prayers of your friends on this venue are with you.

  3. I was happy to see your update and that you are taking this head on. I am sure that you will be rewarded in your effort. I am assuming that you did speak with Patrick and that he was able to help steer your course as he did mine. He is the best of the best and would only associate himself with like associates and clients worthy of his expertise and knowledge. I continue to pray for your effort and check on my IM in Face Book Daily. If you have any news or question you may post it there.

    Your Friend in Christ!

    Rick Martin

  4. So very happy for you. I WILL keep you and your family in my prayers and praise Jesus, I can 🙂

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