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An Open Letter to Dr. Christine Blasey Ford

I believe Dr. Ford
Dear Dr. Ford,

I don’t know if you’ve seen the memes that have connected our stories but in case you had, I thought I would connect with you, woman to woman, rape victim to rape victim, accuser to accuser, civic minded patriot to civic minded patriot.  I am amazed at the similarities of our situations.  Both of us stepped forward at what appears to be the ‘last moment’ in order to stop what we consider to be an evil man’s ascent to a great and powerful position in this nation’s infrastructure.  We both were raped by young men who attended all male schools.  We both knew that there would be very little to no proof, after all these years, to prove our stories true, but felt that it would be irresponsible to allow such a man of low character to gain control of the reins of power- especially over the futures of so many other women.  Who knows what kinds of decisions they would make concerning policies and laws that might indelibly suppress the rights of so many others, perhaps for decades to come?  Character matters.  Our experience of them told us all we needed to know about their true nature and we knew we needed to risk everything to tell the truth- even if it meant putting our children, our husband, our careers, and yes, even our good names in jeopardy forever.

Dr. Ford, my story goes as follows:  I was a young cadet at West Point, Army’s Military Academy.  Another cadet, David W. Riggins, raped me while I was completely unconscious.  I believe he used Rohypnol, the rape drug, because I my muscles failed to function, I lost the ability to speak and see correctly and I  lost most of my memories of the night.   They are pitch black, like nothing I have ever experienced before or after that rape.  No amount of concentrating can illuminate the latter part of that night.  No amount of beer consumption has ever done that to me.   In any case, I remained quiet about the rape for the same reasons most women did back then- no one called such things ‘rape’.  Everyone called it ‘taking advantage of’ women.  I was deeply ashamed of myself.  I believed, for years, that I had drunk myself silly.  I had never heard of Rohypnol or any other kind of rape drug until I was much older.  I blamed and hated myself.

I was one of the first women at West Point and the men were merciless toward us.  When you described the immature, aggressive behavior of Kavanaugh and Judge (indeed, he describes it himself in his own book, “Wasted..”), I was struck by how exact it was for the behavior of West Point cadets.  A woman had the choice to be a ‘bitch’ a ‘whore’ or a ‘dyke’.  I tried to be a ‘bitch’ and was terrified of being labeled a ‘whore’.  To tell anyone about the rape, I was sure, would only make me into one.   (Note:  I learned during the time of the trial that Riggins had actually lied to another cadet that he had sex with me during our freshman year.  This became the basis of his alibi during the trial.  This remained unknown to me until the trial.  This sounds exactly the same as ‘Veronica’s Alumni’ on Kavanaugh’s yearbook.  Riggins’ friend also congratulated him for being part of the ‘mile high club’ on his yearbook.  Know what Riggins’ said it meant at trial?  For being part of the flying club!  lol.  Of course, he said something completely different when confronted online by female cadets.  What a liar.)

To make a long story short, I left West Point because the rape had led to depression which led to bad grades on my exams.  The exams would mean that I couldn’t make the required grade point average to make the West Point medical school track I so desired.  I couldn’t take the pressure or misery of any of it anymore.  I quit.

Many years later and many turns of my life later, I had become a conservative Christian blogger.  I saw many stories in 2013 about rape survivors from the military who were speaking out but not getting any recognition or support from the Army.   Congress was putting a lot of pressure on the military branches to increase their prosecution rates or they threatened to take rape prosecution out of their purview and put it into civilian courts.  Rather than face that humiliation, the military branches sat up and made many ‘changes’ and promises.  I linked to a FOX news article about the subject and wrote about my rape.  I also stated that my roommate had also been raped.  My purpose was to give credibility and personal interest to the FOX article.

I named my rapist- David W. Riggins.  I also noted that he was a colonel in the Army and that he had gone forward, unscathed in the Army while I had lost my career in the Army- like so many of the women who were in the article.  I knew this because in 2009, I came onto Facebook and it automatically linked to to all West Point alumni.  I saw his wretched face smirking and was shocked.  I publicly accused him of the rape- on his FB page- right there and then.  Twice.  Once on FB and once on Twitter.  Both he and his wife admitted this during the trial.   Guess they knew both companies could be subpoenaed for that information.   I also wrote about my rape in 2010 in an article on my blog (below) but didn’t give his name.  But it was clear during the trial that I had brought up the rape and linked him to it publicly since 2009- they admitted as much.  And YET, Riggins attorney stuck to the ridiculous notion that my motive was that I had seen an ‘announcement that he was to be promoted to general in 2013 and because I was an ‘unsuccessful’ cadet and used to date him and he dumped me ( I couldn’t stand him and never, ever dated him), I wanted revenge and so, MADE UP A RAPE STORY and used it to bring a good man down.’  And the crooked jury actually swallowed it.  It goes beyond comprehension, doesn’t it?

This is the same guy that offered to fly me and another cadet, Chris Rigoni, to his parent’s home to watch a movie for the day.  Anything to get away from West Point was great.  When we got there, he and his loser friend, Chris Rigoni, decided to play a nasty prank on me.  They played a pornographic VHS video- they had cued it up to an extremely close up shot of coitus.  I was a very sheltered good girl from an extremely strict Korean mother’s household.  I didn’t even know what I was seeing for a moment.  When I understood it, I yelped and ran out into his kitchen.  His mother was there.  I told her what was happening and she just demurred.  Something about boys…  We played Uno.  All of them lied in court.  Riggins couldn’t even meet my eyes in the courtroom as he spewed his lies.  Riggins’ mother had first denied I had ever been at her house during her Army testimony.  But for the trial, she said I was at her home, but she never allowed porn.  They had all gotten together and sewn up their stories over the four years getting to trial.

I did no more than you did.  I did no more than all these women who are coming forward did.  Indeed, I did less than anyone did.  I only spoke to my own blog- which only 500 of my own readers saw.

Someone sent it to the Army however and asked them to look into it.  They called me and asked me to give a formal statement.  Like you, Dr. Ford, I didn’t want to come forward.  Not like that.  I said, ‘no, I don’t want to press any charges.  I won’t testify in court.’  They asked me again.  I said, ‘no’ again.  Then, they told me that if I didn’t come forward, he was going to become a general.  A general.  AND they told me he would be working in the Pentagon and would have decision making power over the re-shaping of the Army concerning sexual assault.  Dr. Ford, of all people in this world, you know how that feels.  For a political arm of the government to place all that responsibility on your shoulders.  To pressure you, personally, to help them stop a rapist from getting that kind of influence.  They told me they didn’t want Riggins to be a general and that I could help them stop him.

I told them that there was no way to prove it.  Why bother making a statement?  They said my accusation was believable and was ‘enough’ to prevent him from becoming a general.  They promised that I couldn’t be harmed in any way by making the formal statement to their Criminal Investigation Division.  They would back me all the way.  So, Dr. Ford, I did it.  I felt it was my civic duty to step forward.  Just as you did.   I didn’t hear a word from the Army after this until I received a $2.3 defamation suit from Riggins.  It was full of ridiculous, defamatory claims itself.  All easily provably false.  And I found all the witnesses and documents to prove him to be a complete liar.

Too bad the last minute judge who was assigned was so biased that he refused to allow any of my witnesses to speak.  Too bad that the judge refused to allow almost any of the evidence that proved Riggins and his witnesses had changed their stories from what they told the Army to what they told during their depositions to what they told at court!  Too bad the new judge refused to allow us to show that Riggins had lied, many times, on his promotion review board letter- obvious, blaring lies that alone, would have gotten him fired.  This new judge, in a shocking last minute decision, threw out all our evidence and witnesses.  He also yelled at my attorney, scaring him half to death so that he stopped objecting to Riggins’ attorney’s unethical practices, including changing evidence, using evidence that was never submitted to us beforehand, and failing to disclose evidence to us at all- like the fact that he had FAILED his polygraph the Army had given to him when asked about whether he had raped me.  And he dared to brag to the media that his ‘client had taken a polygraph,’ implying that he had passed it.  His attorney had even falsified evidence at one point.  In fact, Riggins’ attorney did so many unethical and illegal things that it was costing me more than I could afford to keep up.  That was apparently the strategy.  All while Riggins, with his Army subsidized life and dual income hired a team of lawyers and spies to rake my life apart.  They lied in court so many times.  It was shocking.

In the end, the horrible jury admitted to the press that they didn’t deliberate at all.  They didn’t review one bit of evidence.  They didn’t discuss the case one second.  This, of course, meant that they had been discussing the case amongst themselves beforehand, which is illegal as well.  I saw them doing it.  Of course, the judge never told them not to, as was his responsibility.   They weren’t sequestered.  And the judge never ordered them to stay off the internet- so I know they searched me online too.   They went straight to guilty and how much I was to pay my rapist.  They gave the full $2.3 million and then decided to make me pay an additional $5 million.  The juror who spoke to the media said it was ‘to make sure THIS didn’t happen again.’

‘This’, Dr. Ford, is a woman coming forward against a powerful, rich man with a sexual accusation without proof again.  Thank GOD for the #MeToo movement which broke out about 2 weeks later.  I like to think my high profile case might have had something to do with that.  Especially since it was a news commentator who spoke first.  She surely had to see my story.

I am a conservative and almost everyone on my page is criticizing you.  They claim to be Christians.  Based on my defense of your right to have an investigation, I am unfriending, banning and losing friends.  But that is fine with me.  I find that taking the moral road will always lose you friends.  The Bible says this about both rape and accusations:

“But if in the field the man finds the girl who is engaged, and the man FORCES her and lies with her, then only the man who lies with her shall die. But you shall do nothing to the girl; there is no sin in the girl worthy of death, for just as a man rises against his neighbor and murders him, so is this case. When he found her in the field, the engaged girl cried out, but there was no one to save her.” (Deut 22:25-27)

“16 If a malicious witness takes the stand to accuse someone of a crime, 17the two people involved in the dispute must stand in the presence of the Lord before the priests and the judges who are in office at the time. 18The judges must make a thorough INVESTIGATION, and if the witness proves to be a liar, giving false testimony against a fellow Israelite, 19then do to the false witness as that witness intended to do to the other party. ” Deuteronomy 19

These people are my people. They call themselves Christians and yet, they are directly disobeying God and the Bible.  But they don’t care.  Nor do they respond when I post these things.  I have supported your right to have an FBI or other police investigation.  I’ve never, before I heard you and Kavanaugh, said I thought Kavanaugh was guilty.  Just that you should have due process and an investigation.  They have never given a single credible reason why you should not get one.  Instead, they obfuscate, attack your person, attack my person, scream how absurd and false the accusations are, how this is a Soros attack and how Kavanaugh is a ‘good man’.  They say how ‘unfair’ this is to HIM, but never say why an investigation shouldn’t be done.

Ms. Ford, this is because sexual abuse is rampant and unaddressed in the Christian community.  I love Christ with all my heart.  He is the answer to all life.  I want to apologize to you with all my heart for all my brothers and sisters horrible actions in this matter.  They do not represent God.  You can see his words there.  His words indicate that because a woman can’t be heard when she yells, she is automatically to be believed.  It is enough.  No witnesses need to be provided.  No one needs to see it.  It is completely loving toward women.  If you look deeply enough, the assumption is that it is 100% humiliating for a woman to say she was raped.  Thus, if she comes forward and says she was raped, she is to be believed.  Why else would she expose herself to such humiliation if not to seek justice?  God understands the ‘heart’ of women in these matters.  (note: the reason it says ‘engaged or married girl’ is because if the girl were single the man would be forced to marry her.  In that culture, it would protect her from humiliation and protection should she be pregnant from the rape.  But the essence is protection.)

The other verse is for all other crimes.  In it, it talks about a ‘malicious witness’.  These so-called Christians are calling you a ‘liar’.  That makes you a ‘malicious witness’ in their minds.  Thus, even so, you should get an INVESTIGATION!. So, they are hypocrites and liars.

Believe me when I tell you that as you are being torn apart by conservatives, so am I.  My story and my $8 million judgement that was assigned to me for doing what so many women are now doing is being bandied about as a ‘cautionary tale’ for you.  If I knew you personally, I would say, “Let’s get some martinis and laugh about it.”

I spoke the truth about Riggins; I will never be silenced, no matter how many times he wants to sue me.  I believe you spoke the truth about Kavanaugh.  Riggins just ‘liked’ some of my readers’ bashing on my Facebook page.  Isn’t that juvenile?  I’m just glad he is not a general.  No matter what people say about me, I accomplished what I set out to do.  A rapist will never be a general.  Nor will he ever run for political office.  I am satisfied.  I hope Trump thinks better of Kavanaugh after so many men and women have spoken out against him.  Be brave, my friend.  There will be more hatred online, I promise you.  You’ve only just embarked on your journey.    If you would like, contact me in the comments section. They are all monitored.  I won’t show your comment to the public.  Give me a way to contact you if you want to speak.  May God bless you.

If you want to know the particulars of my story, here are some articles:

The Rape of a Female Cadet:  Me
In My Defense
The Washington Post’s Major Errors
One Christian’s Journey


    • thank you so much. It’s been very difficult but I know it was the right thing. Your support and kindness really does touch me and make a difference in my day. I’ve been beat up by my own people for weeks now. A kind voice feels like silk on my heart…

  1. Your situation was very bad, I can’t imagine…but u are a fool if u think ford isn’t doing this b/c she is a wild eyed liberal and a demoncrat. Fraid i am done with u,,u have no discernment.

    • Well, sorry to see you go, Greg. I’m finding that many supporters are leaving me due to my support for Dr. Blasey. I find that to be an unreasonable approach but I can’t help what people decide. Hope you change your mind and reconsider! 🙂

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